“Is This Normal?” Understanding the 3 Stages of Menopause
— 3 min read —
Because naming the changes helps us meet them with more compassion (and maybe less rage)
There’s a moment in life when things shift.
Maybe your sleep is off. Maybe your fuse is shorter. Maybe your jeans fit like someone else’s. Suddenly, the things that used to work… don’t. You might feel like you're losing your grip, your memory, or just your patience. Sometimes all at once.
This is menopause. And despite what we were (not) taught, it’s not a moment. It’s a transition. With stages. And (unfortunately) no pause button.
And there’s another layer that most people don’t talk about… the emotional grief baked into it all, even when we’re "ready." You’re saying goodbye to a version of yourself. To predictability. To the story you’ve told about who you are.
That’s not just hormonal. That’s sacred.
Let’s break it down.
Perimenopause: When things begin to shift
It doesn’t start with loud fanfare. It starts with forgetting what you walked into the room for… again.
This is often where it starts, though it rarely announces itself clearly. One month your cycle’s regular, the next you’re googling “can stress delay your period” while crying into your pasta. Hormones like estrogen and progesterone begin to fluctuate, and your body starts reacting to the ups and downs.
This stage can last for years. For some, it feels like a slow undercurrent. For others, like a wave crashing in out of nowhere. Common experiences include:
Irregular or heavier periods
Hot flashes and/or night sweats
Mood swings or anxiety that doesn’t feel like “you”
Brain fog, low energy, a sense of emotional rawness
If this is where you are, it’s not about “fixing” yourself. It’s about tuning in more gently. Learning to recognize what your body is asking for now. Support matters here. So does rest. And stretchy waistbands.
Menopause: The milestone moment
One year without a period. So many feels about what that means.
Menopause is technically one day: the 12-month mark since your last period.
It’s not marked with balloons or a certificate (although it should be!), but it is significant. It may come with a sense of relief or grief. Sometimes both.
This marks the end of your reproductive years, but not the end of your power. It’s a transition into a new rhythm. Symptoms might still echo through the body, but there’s also an invitation:
What do you need now? What matters? How do you want to feel in this next chapter?
Postmenopause: A new phase of life
This isn’t the end of your story. It’s a new season, with a different soundtrack.
After that one-day milestone, you’re officially postmenopausal. This is the stage that lasts for the rest of your life. The hormonal rollercoaster slows down (phew!), but there are still things to keep an eye on: bone health, heart health, and anything that affects your long-term wellbeing.
You might still deal with:
Vaginal dryness or bladder changes
Ongoing sleep or joint issues
A shift in emotional landscape (sometimes quieter, sometimes not)
But many people describe this phase as more grounded. There’s less noise. Less people pleasing. More clarity. More efficiency. More wisdom, embodied.
When are symptoms the hardest?
Usually? Perimenopause. That unpredictable hormone dance can affect every system in the body. But everyone’s experience is different. Some people breeze through. Some feel it all at once. You don’t get extra points for muscling through it. What you do deserve? Support, before the breakdown.
Does it ever really end?
Menopause isn’t something you “finish.” But the intensity of the transition often fades with time. The body finds a new rhythm. You find a new way of being in it.
The key is support. Information. A space to feel what you feel, without having to explain it away.
If this feels like a lot, it is. But you don’t have to navigate it alone.
Small steps, honest check-ins, and the right support can make all the difference.
It’s why the Menopause Collective exists. So if you’re ready for personalized support, we’re here to help you explore what’s next, with clarity, care, and zero judgment.
counselling + therapy
Mental health is an extremely important part of anyone’s wellbeing, which is why we have a team of registered psychotherapists, registered social workers and coaches on hand for whatever support you or your family may need.